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Using Food to Fill the Void

Angela C. — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 09:47:29 +0000

Hey, folks!

It’s Sunday, stats day, and I’m behind on the blog. Before I begin, I just want to say thank you to each and every person reading this blog! I know we’re all busy, and I appreciate the time you take to read, comment, Tweet, post, and otherwise engage with me online.

That being said, I could use a little encouragement! Some of you may recall my post in November where I talked about the measuring tape being the most effective way of demonstrating my progress.

Well, today, I barely squeezed my tush into a size 12 bathing suit and went off to a birthday party. Later in the evening, I tried on some size 14 “designer” pants, and was mortified. My hips don’t lie. I’ve fallen of the wagon.

A while back, I was talking to a personal trainer who had lost a huge amount of weight. He mentioned sometimes still feeling and acting like that person carrying all those extra pounds.

It’s hard to imagine myself looking like this:

When right now, I feel that I look like this:

I don’t want to give you the impression that I think there’s anything bad about being my size, and ladies, if you got it, work it!

I’m just struggling with consistency, and that’s likely fueled by my inability to imagine myself anything but where I’m at right now.

To help me visualize a new me, I took a minute to reflect on the old me! In 2003, I left a well-paying job and began a venture in independent sales. Concurrently, I changed my eating habits and made the decision to never again work in a career where I had to sacrifice my personal health and well-being. In 3 months, I lost 30 pounds.

Although the business didn’t work out, I did stay on the renegade track for 2 years. I quit drinking alcohol, and for a while, even stopped drinking coffee! I switched to soy instead of cow’s milk, and began a vegetarian lifestyle.

At the time, I infrequently would take hikes, long walks and the occasional aerobics class. When my car finally gave out, I started walking everywhere, and taking the bus.

The picture on the right is of me, three years into this change (Spring 2006). A little while after this photo was taken, I became pregnant!

As a single working mom of a child with a major developmental delay, my lifestyle since then has completely changed. And I know I’ve resorted to the older habits that got me into trouble in the first place.

I started eating meat again when I was in my 1st term of pregnancy. I started drinking alcohol again when I moved to Honolulu. I’ve been using sugar and caffeine as “uppers” ever since I had a newborn!

But the bigger threat to my health and well-being is comfort food. My vices can be salty or sweet, creamy or crunchy, dark chocolate or milk chocolate. It’s just too easy to ignore the consequences and choose something that feels good in the short term.

I’m filling the void with food!

I suppose I’m jumping on the blog today to reach out, and ask for some encouragement. I didn’t even want to weigh in or take my measurements today. I know I’m back in the 190′s, and I know that my measurements last week were 39, 39, 43. And I’ve had only one workout with kettlebells in the last 9 days.

The first practice that I believe will make a difference is starting my day with an attitude of gratitude. One of my friends exchanges e-mails with me every day. We share one or two sentences answering the question: “What are you grateful for?” This helps me frame my day with positive expectation.

I asked another friend to do the water challenge with me. We’re going to shoot for 64 ounces of water a day (although another friend of mine suggests 1/2 my weight in water, which would be a whopping 95 ounces!)

As for accountability, I may need to ask Dwayne Perkins to do another blog-a-thon with me. I found that when I had to check in here daily, I wanted to report progress!!!

Maintaining a positive attitude is where you come in. Sometimes I’ll just spend a minute looking at Facebook or reading other people’s tweets to see what good news they might bring.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you, and I promise, there will be blogs with more “action” to come! Please take a moment and give me a shout out! I appreciate it in advance!

End of February Weigh In and Measurements

Angela C. — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 00:38:49 +0000

First the good news: I have lost over 10 pounds and about 5 1/2 inches on my bust, waist and hips so far in 2010!

I‘m still working out twice a week with Bill Maeda over at FitPro Hawaii, and incorporating some new tools into my kettlebell regimen.

The bad news? As of March, I back pedaled again! The combination of a major transition for my child, a minor illness, and personal issues ended up being too much stress for me to bear.

I’ve started to take a personal inventory. What habits have I fallen back into? (i.e. What got me here in the first place?) What beliefs do I have about myself, my ability, or my potential that are limiting my progress? What do I have control over and what do I need to let go?

This process, sometimes brings up painful answers, so it helps to focus on the last question above. In the following blog, I will look at ten positive habits that I know work for me, and that I can continue to implement as I progress towards my goal of 80 total pounds lost.

Although I am tired of the pendulum swinging back and forth (a sort of 3 pounds lost, one pound gained kind of thing), this is where I’m at!

If I give up now, it will be one pound gained, one pound gained, one pound gained, and I’ll be back to 5′ 4″, 216 pounds, and less healthy and less happy than ever!

I’d be interested in hearing from anyone who has experienced the kind of pendulum swing I’m talking about. What did you do to get centered and progress forward? Facebook me, tweet me, or better yet, comment in the reply space below!

Aloha, and best wishes as you go through your journey!

Leaving 2009 in the dust!

Angela C. — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 14:09:01 +0000

Hey, kettlepeeps!

Have you ever looked back at small pieces of your life and felt pretty good about it? I find that I usually don’t give myself kudos for small accomplishments, but today, I am.

I’m happy that I haven’t given up on myself in my quest to lose weight and gain healthy habits. I moved my goal date from October 30,2009 (with a 55lb loss) to June 30, 2010 (with a 70 pound loss) and I believe I will do it.

I’ve always lacked a sense of confidence (if you couldn’t tell) when it came to physical activity. I avoided competitive sports, even bowling, until I was well out of college.

I’ve always held at least two jobs, or a job and a side-job, which kept me perpetually running around. I “worked out,” but usually that meant a group class, like high impact aerobics, or my own mix of cardio and body weight training. I’ve only felt comfortable in my own skin with dance, or more specifically (non-competitive) hula.

I started and stopped Weight Watchers after moderate success. I really gave up on working out and meal planning when I was pregnant with my son.

Not surprisingly, these things took a toll on my overall health and well-being.

As of May 2009, I decided to take on something new, set a goal, and strive for it publicly.

I don’t have to be perfect, in fact, who is? But I can hold myself accountable and have some fun while I’m at it. Enter kettlebells.

I started training at FitPro Hawaii, and made some solid gains (or losses) over the past 8 months. It’s been a bumpy ride, and I’m back in the 190s, but I’m still progressing:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FePDEmEL9Rc

My new workout partner, Ty, and I have decided that we are going “ballistic.” To him, this means being able to hike up a mountain wearing a weight vest. For me, this means getting off my tush and making sure I do something, even a little thing, each and every day.

And, there’s friendly competition there. No, I’m not aiming to do as many push ups as he does. But I am working hard to be consistent and show up where I need to be, no complaints.

In 2010, I’m tackling my eating habits. It will be a challenge, Lord help me. But it can be done.

And you-- I’m really curious-- what are you leaving behind, and what are you looking forward to?

Leave me a comment! And thanks for joining me on this journey. Aloha!

Sunday Stats: Adjusting the Course

Angela C. — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 20:58:27 +0000

Aloha, Kettlepeeps!

After my birthday, it was tempting to feel proud. I had been working hard for 6 months, and had a modicum of success.

I could fit clothes that I had bought when I moved to Hawaii and soon “grew” out of. I was meeting with my personal trainer and also working out on my own.

Surely, this was cause for celebration?

Unfortunately, I allowed myself a bit too much leeway. I eased up on my home workouts and stopped tracking what I ate. I started a couple of new ventures and spent less time blogging. And I started eating things I had previously avoided.

Here’s the results for this week:

I’m back to my weight and size as in August! Talk about a roller coaster!

Yes, I’m frustrated. Sigh.

But I’m not giving up! Here’s what a friend of mine wrote on facebook recently:

you know… i wish all clients were like you. you set realistic goals, you know that it’s usually a 2 steps forward, 1 step back kinda deal, and more than anything, you accept that and never give up. i’ve given up on myself and people in general when it comes to health and wellness… but your kettletell story gives me inspiration and hope. thanks angela! and happy thanksgiving..

I’m going to keep reminding myself that success is not always a straight course, and it may not look like what I expect!

Realistic Doll Based on Average American Woman

I heard a great metaphor for this. A plane doesn’t fly in one straight line from Point A to Point B. A pilot makes minor adjustments all along the route, so that it looks more like a series of jagged lines:

So, while this may be a bit more turbulent than I expected, it’s all in the plan.

Thanks for continuing to follow me at kettletell. I am always happy to hear from you, so please leave me a reply below!

Sunday Stats – The Holidays are Here!

Angela C. — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:09:30 +0000

Aloha, kettlecousins!

We celebrated Thanksgiving with a 20+ person party at our house – and that was just the immediate family! I hope that this past weekend was joyous for you as well, and that you embraced the spirit of gratitude, whether you are in the United States or not.

I definitely indulged in family, fun and food. I had stopped counting calories along the way, and unfortunately, it shows:

In this month that I haven’t been training at FitPro, I steadily lost the gains (or gained back the losses?) I had over a month ago! Talk about disappointing.

I can’t give up– I just can’t!

I’ve found a new training partner, and also renewed my joy for walking up mountains.

I also got a kelty carrier for my toddler to join me and see the world from outside of a stroller.

My holiday job has me on my feet for 6 – 8 hours a day, away from the computer, cell phone and other time wasters. This holiday season, I’ve also decided to give up diet soda, and drink plain, refreshing H2O.

My workout partner challenged me to hit 179.0 pounds by Christmas. It’s an ambitious goal. I started to reaffirm myself, and the latest quote I have posted in my room is:

“179 pounds tastes better than any dessert!”

I don’t think dessert in general is horrible, and I’m not a fan of deprivation (obviously).

Since I love desserts so much, including a recent affair with pumpkin-themed sweets, I decided that I will focus on making a clear choice to eat dessert, or any other sugary food choice.

I can allow myself to consciously choose to eat a sweet, rather than having it and pretending I didn’t by not counting it. I just need to factor it in with the other food I’ve eaten, and weigh it out.

If I’m just having a craving (or an emotional desire to eat a particular thing rather than a physical need for it) I can focus on the success I will achieve by working through it. If I just can’t pass on the dessert, I’ll have a small amount, and count it.

Each food choice, big and small, has affected my weight. Combine that with a total lack of kettlebell training in the four weeks preceding this one, and I’m disheartened, but not surprised at the results.

I could go on and on about what I haven’t done that’s led me to this point, but instead, I’ll make a list of what I can do now that will propel me towards my goal:

Kettlebell training, minimum 20 minutes, five times a week before work
Cardio with Kai in the kelty carrier, five times a week when I get home from work
A salad a day (or other mix of healthful vegetables)
Daily multivitamin
8 glasses of water a day
Pause and think before I choose to eat a sweet
Track everything on the blackberry

That about covers it. If I can manage to do even 70% of what’s on this list, I’ll see good results. If I do everything on this list– consistently– I’ll see great results.

Who else is with me? Leave me a comment! Mahalo!

A Pound A Week… Or Else!

Angela C. — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 09:15:51 +0000

I’ve been politely questioned, rudely asked, and even teased about my weight. None of that really made a difference in terms of motivating me to get healthy, in fact, it may have had the opposite effect.

My trainer is taking a different approach — a financial consequence.

Liz and I have agreed. If we don’t come in weighing one pound less consistently every week, our hourly rate will increase by a dollar… permanently!

A pound is a comfortable goal. I’m confident I won’t go into the poor house, and can maintain weight loss of a pound a week. Two pounds a week, however, is my actual goal.

My exercise plan can certainly be improved since I have not been consistent in that regard. Some weeks I’ve had 5 workouts, and most weeks, just three. So, that can be easily fixed.

Healthy eating has not been a priority for me in weeks. Now, this is a touchy area for me. In my word, I say I want to eat healthy, but in deed, I’m not. My healthy integrity has gone out the door!

I’ve recommitted to eating well, one day at a time. I like my food journal on my phone, even if I don’t like its name. I’m always going to be a nerd, so I like seeing the calculations.

Here’s the part that takes real commitment, though– measuring everything– and I mean EVERYTHING I put in my mouth!

Here’s a few examples:

Coffee with 1 tbsp creamer

Examining the Nutrition Facts on Every Single Item

Note to self: a cup of spaghetti is not enough for a cup of sauce

Once I have everything entered in my journal, I’ll be able to recall it without trouble. This week, I find myself spending a lot of time looking up and then entering stats for things like “Organic Veggie Straws” and “BBQ Chicken.”

I’m also keeping track of my workouts on the exercise journal. Does anyone out there know how many kcals are burned in a 30 minute kettlebell workout? I don’t want to use the “weight lifting” stats, because that just doesn’t seem to capture the entire workout.

That just about sums it up. (Get it? SUMS it up? Aw, forget it.) Of course, I’d love to hear from you… it keeps me motivated! Please leave a comment below in the “reply” box. I look forward to reading it!

Mahalo!

Sunday Stats, September's End

Angela C. — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:11:23 +0000

Wow! I can’t believe it’s T – 33 days until my birthday!

My new goal for my birthday (since I determined I wouldn’t lose 55 pounds by then) is to hit 180. I think that losing 14 pounds will make a HUGE difference — not only in the way I look, but also in the way I see myself!

So, here’s the stats and charts for the end of September 2009.

Please leave me a comment, I would love to hear from you! Aloha!

Excuses

Angela C. — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:50:50 +0000

Hey folks! Here’s my stats for the last couple of weeks. As you can see, starting in mid-September, my weight and measurements have gone up slightly:

For the last few weeks, I’ve been working out on average 3 times a week, and I’ve been eating a lot of sugary foods. Moreover, this past week, I’ve been at the coffee house again, sitting and working on my laptop.

It’s no wonder that my weight — and my waist line– have gone up!

This begs the question, “WHY?” I have a goal, and I have the desire. I have some mechanisms in place to reach that goal. What’s my excuse?

I saw a great quote today by Art Turock:

“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”

I’m blessed to have another day on this earth, and about 5 weeks until I turn 36. I need to stop squandering my time here and commit to the things that matter today and in the long run.

Any thoughts?

Stressful Snacking?

Angela C. — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 05:38:40 +0000

Hey kettlefolks!

For the past week, I’ve been in various coffee houses around Honolulu, working to a deadline. One of the joys of working for yourself is that you get to work anywhere! (Conversely, you don’t have an office or regular workspace.)

Lately, I’ve been looking at this: And this has been looking at me:

What’s that in your hand, Angela?

I’m glad you asked!

It’s an Ice blended mocha, no sugar added, extreme.

What does extreme mean?

More coffee.

I’m running on less sleep than usual, my eyes are tired and bloodshot, and I just want to complete this project so that I can move on to the next. (Not that I’m complaining– I do love working in the field of education– albeit, independently!)

In the past few days, I had not worked out, had not eaten healthy and nutritious meals, and for a second I thought I was back in finals week during my undergraduate college career.

As I’m sitting here sipping this bittersweet drink, I started to review the other things I’ve been putting into my system. Everything that I’ve had a craving for falls into one of four categories: salty or sweet, crunchy or creamy. Sometimes, it’s two of the four, like crunchy and salty — popcorn, or those veggie tubes we got at COSTCO. But usually, I have a very clear idea of what I want, and I when I’m working up to the last minute, like now, I’ll go and get it.

I think this is stressful snacking; an insidious form of emotional eating. It’s insidious because I almost don’t realize I’m doing it.

For example, the graham cracker I was snacking on with my son. (Sweet and crunchy.) I didn’t have a whole cracker… or wait, did I? I can’t remember, because I wasn’t paying attention. What about the salty barbecue chicken I had for lunch? I usually can’t finish the mini-plate. Today, I ate the whole thing.

About the only thing saving me so far this week is the fact that I did get into the FitPro Hawaii gym today. After swings and suitcase squats with the 16kg kettlebells, Bill busted out the benches. Liz and I did presses and various weight bearing activities with two 12kgs. I’ve been typing all week– my shoulders are taut and my wrists are thrashed! I’m so glad I got in there!

We also got homework for the next four days– complete a total of 200 clean and presses (the long cycle) with two 8 kgs. I can do 100 over two days (yeah, right) or 50 each day. We also have to continue our cardio on our own.

I’ll keep in touch! In the meantime, can you please let me know what kind of healthy snacks you eat that are satisfying?

kettaloha!

If At First You Don't Succeed…

Angela C. — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 01:44:05 +0000

One thing I’m learning through this process is to stick with it! In other areas of my life, I’ve gotten caught in the “all or nothing” trap. If I can’t do it perfectly, heck, why do it at all?

For example, I might think, ” If I can’t get at least 30 minutes to work out, heck, why do just a little?”

I’m constantly challenging the idea that everything has to be perfect. What is that, anyway? As a working mom, sometimes I need to be satisfied with “good enough.”

The other day, I tried to squeeze a workout in… right before a bunch of people were coming over. After the requisite cleaning and set up, I ran out of time for a full workout. Not to mention, my son wanted my attention.

I grabbed my child, threw him in a stroller, and half-heartedly tried to complete my homework assignment. It didn’t work out that well.

Rather than be defeated, I tried again the next day… and it was good! (Or at least, good enough!) Here’s what that looked like:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tlSq7rkk4w

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I’d love to hear from you! How do you get it done? Leave a comment!