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Using Food to Fill the Void

Angela C. — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 09:47:29 +0000

Hey, folks!

It’s Sunday, stats day, and I’m behind on the blog. Before I begin, I just want to say thank you to each and every person reading this blog! I know we’re all busy, and I appreciate the time you take to read, comment, Tweet, post, and otherwise engage with me online.

That being said, I could use a little encouragement! Some of you may recall my post in November where I talked about the measuring tape being the most effective way of demonstrating my progress.

Well, today, I barely squeezed my tush into a size 12 bathing suit and went off to a birthday party. Later in the evening, I tried on some size 14 “designer” pants, and was mortified. My hips don’t lie. I’ve fallen of the wagon.

A while back, I was talking to a personal trainer who had lost a huge amount of weight. He mentioned sometimes still feeling and acting like that person carrying all those extra pounds.

It’s hard to imagine myself looking like this:

When right now, I feel that I look like this:

I don’t want to give you the impression that I think there’s anything bad about being my size, and ladies, if you got it, work it!

I’m just struggling with consistency, and that’s likely fueled by my inability to imagine myself anything but where I’m at right now.

To help me visualize a new me, I took a minute to reflect on the old me! In 2003, I left a well-paying job and began a venture in independent sales. Concurrently, I changed my eating habits and made the decision to never again work in a career where I had to sacrifice my personal health and well-being. In 3 months, I lost 30 pounds.

Although the business didn’t work out, I did stay on the renegade track for 2 years. I quit drinking alcohol, and for a while, even stopped drinking coffee! I switched to soy instead of cow’s milk, and began a vegetarian lifestyle.

At the time, I infrequently would take hikes, long walks and the occasional aerobics class. When my car finally gave out, I started walking everywhere, and taking the bus.

The picture on the right is of me, three years into this change (Spring 2006). A little while after this photo was taken, I became pregnant!

As a single working mom of a child with a major developmental delay, my lifestyle since then has completely changed. And I know I’ve resorted to the older habits that got me into trouble in the first place.

I started eating meat again when I was in my 1st term of pregnancy. I started drinking alcohol again when I moved to Honolulu. I’ve been using sugar and caffeine as “uppers” ever since I had a newborn!

But the bigger threat to my health and well-being is comfort food. My vices can be salty or sweet, creamy or crunchy, dark chocolate or milk chocolate. It’s just too easy to ignore the consequences and choose something that feels good in the short term.

I’m filling the void with food!

I suppose I’m jumping on the blog today to reach out, and ask for some encouragement. I didn’t even want to weigh in or take my measurements today. I know I’m back in the 190′s, and I know that my measurements last week were 39, 39, 43. And I’ve had only one workout with kettlebells in the last 9 days.

The first practice that I believe will make a difference is starting my day with an attitude of gratitude. One of my friends exchanges e-mails with me every day. We share one or two sentences answering the question: “What are you grateful for?” This helps me frame my day with positive expectation.

I asked another friend to do the water challenge with me. We’re going to shoot for 64 ounces of water a day (although another friend of mine suggests 1/2 my weight in water, which would be a whopping 95 ounces!)

As for accountability, I may need to ask Dwayne Perkins to do another blog-a-thon with me. I found that when I had to check in here daily, I wanted to report progress!!!

Maintaining a positive attitude is where you come in. Sometimes I’ll just spend a minute looking at Facebook or reading other people’s tweets to see what good news they might bring.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you, and I promise, there will be blogs with more “action” to come! Please take a moment and give me a shout out! I appreciate it in advance!

Weighing in: How to be happy when the scale barely moves

Angela C. — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 22:00:20 +0000

Hey, everyone out there in kettlebell world!

I don’t feel very qualified to talk about staying happy, but I think that this is probably the most important topic I will ever post on this blog.

How many of you who are working out, watching what we eat, and reading everything possible on health and nutrition still pause momentarily before stepping on the scale? I find that the moments leading up to my weekly weigh in may be the most anxiety-provoking in my week.

Maybe I’m taking my weigh in a little too seriously. Or maybe, just maybe, I experience complete fear around the thought of not reaching my goal and then reporting it on the world wide web… and far worse… to my accountability partner.

I found that there are two types of people in this world: those that are motivated by fear, and those who are immobilized by fear. Where do you stand?

Unfortunately, I belong in the latter group. When I am afraid of losing something, especially something I’ve been dedicated to and personally invested in, I just want to pull my head back in my turtle shell. With that being said, here’s today’s weigh in:

While I am closer to my 2/28 goal, I already know that I’m not going to make it. So, how do I keep my head above water and keep pushing forward?

Through action and interaction.

Here’s what I’ve learned from this process: I need you! I need you to keep me accountable, because sometimes, I don’t want to do it.

In all of my adult life, I feel like I’ve been seeking this – someone to rely upon when I just want to throw the sweaty towel in.

I’ve gone down many roads (I could write a blog on my MLM experiences alone!) seeking out partnership. I think having someone (or ones) as my partner(s) is truly the key to my personal happiness.

Then, as it states, right there in the beginning of the word partnership, I need to do MY part:

I have to practice forgiveness, especially of myself. I can start without saying “I have to” and move into “I choose to.”

I can take responsibility for my actions. For example, I chose to eat those peanut butter cookies, nobody put them in my stomach!

I can prepare. Here’s where my Personal Trainer at FitPro Hawaii comes in. He helps me develop short and longer term goals, as a road map of my journey.

And I can celebrate my successes, large and small. Just to keep myself going, I’m going to take a look at my before and afters. Here are some clips from videos past:

May 29, 2009.

Feb 21, 2010

Light shines on me

So, to wrap this up– in the future, will I stay happy when the weight on the scale is barely changing and my clothes sizes are not getting any smaller? With your support, yes I can! Mahalo!

The Isagenix Cleanse is Over!

Angela C. — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 03:29:26 +0000

Well, folks!

I did it my way, and it’s done… at least for the month of January. I started the Isagenix Pre-Cleanse on January 15th and already felt like a failure by the 16th.

I scooped myself back up (or actually, scooped some more chocolate shake up into my plastic shaker) and made my own plan. It went something like this:

* Coffee first thing in the morning, with non-fat milk and splenda
* Cleanse drink at work
* Nuts or apple slices as a snack
* Coffee break
* Chocolate shake on the drive home
* Snack-sized dinner or chocolate shake for dinner

Sometimes the nuts or apple slices turned into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on wheat. Usually those were workout days. Sometimes the snack-sized dinner wasn’t that small. But I did avoid all desserts, sodas and meaningless munching.

I actually began to enjoy my routine and am considering implementing some sort of “cleanse” activity into every week. Stay tuned for that.

From Amy Mac's website

Here is an interesting digitally-enhanced picture I saw at www.withamymac.com. It shows a woman at size 16 and at a size 4.

When I started this journey, I was wearing a size 16W. And that was in designer clothing. I’m comfortably wearing size 14s now.

I have no desire to be a size 4, but this does give me a good visual representation of what I can achieve with effort, exercise, and everything in moderation!

When I get down to half my former size (that would be size 8), maybe I can do this pic for real!

Leave me a comment, and see you soon!

Isagenix Cleanse Days 2 – 8: Happy Medium

Angela C. — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:08:52 +0000

I’ve completed 8 days of the 9-day Isagenix cleanse, and I’m happy with my results thus far. That’s saying a lot, since I tend to have a lot of negative thoughts running around.

I think the key to staying upbeat and making progress is that I modified the cleanse to meet my needs, versus modifying my needs to meet the cleanse.

Some purists may disagree with my approach; but it works for me.

Basically, I stuck to the 2 -days of cleanse and 5-days of shake + 1 meal model, with one major modification. I snacked.

If you recall from my last post, having a snack left me feeling guilty and almost like a failure. I decided to keep going anyway.

Then I resolved to have a small, healthy snack in between every shake or cleanse. The result was that I was eating or drinking something throughout the day.

My only slip-up was when I broke that pattern one night to have dinner with my family. I over-indulged, and you can see it in my weigh-ins:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7A7MYgLiCPw

I’m happy to report, though, I’m close to my end-of -January goal:

How are you doing with your goals? Please, leave me a message!

Sunday Stats

Angela C. — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:23:58 +0000

Hey folks!

It’s been a strange week. I either had the stomach flu or food poisoning. I didn’t work out all week. I counted calories every single day, using my blackberry. And I ended up with the exact same measurements as the week before, but a pound less:

I’ll do a video progress update soon. For now, I’m just happy that some of my clothes are fitting me loosely!

Thanks for following! Be sure to subscribe to my e-mail list with the link above, or just by sending an e-mail to subscribe@kettletell.com — you’ll get updates whenever I send one! (And remember, kettletell does not spam!)

How I lost 2 pounds in 1 day!

Angela C. — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:24:24 +0000

Before you start asking questions, like, “What product did you use?” or “You’re not anorexic, are you?,” let me clean the slate. I had the stomach flu.*

Okay, according to a friend of mine, there’s no such thing as the “stomach flu.” Whatever it was, late Monday night / Tuesday morning, there I was hunched over the bathroom sink.

You know how I’ve been counting calories, both taken in and burned? Well, on Monday, I probably expended about 3,000 calories. I worked about 8 hours moving some pretty heavy stuff.

Before I got sick, I ingested about 2,600 calories, mostly carbs. So, all in all, not a bad day. Until around 12:30am. When I got rid of probably about 900 calories.

Let me just say, I’ve developed a food aversion to caesar salad now. Throwing up romaine lettuce is not fun. (That may have been a little bit too much information.)

Just want to keep you posted on what is definitely an adventure — thanks for joining me! Please comment below. I look forward to hearing your horror stories, too!

* kettletell.com does not promote getting the stomach flu, or regurgitating food, as a means of losing weight.

Kettletell's Updated Blogroll!

Angela C. — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 14:24:37 +0000

Hey, folks!

We finally put together a much more comprehensive list of websites of all things kettlecool. As you can see from the picture, I had a little help.

If you have a blog or website that’s related to mine, and you would like it to be featured here, just e-mail me at info@kettletell.com. Conversely, if your site is linked, but, hey, you don’t want random people checking you out, you can e-mail me, too!

Have a wonderful weekend, with lots of aloha!

Cleanse day two (boo hoo!)

Angela C. — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 09:41:41 +0000

Okay, people, let’s keep it real.

I like food. I’m sure I’ve mentioned that multiple times, both in text and on video. I know you know that I know I’m an emotional eater.

So, imagine this scenario. For two days, you aren’t eating, tasting, enjoying a meal. You are ingesting nutritious stuff, mind you, but you’re not savoring the feeling of eating.

On top of that, all the guck that your body tissues have been storing is also being released. Now, that may have been the reason you decided to undertake this in the first place, but it’s a good time to remind yourself that the grease you had with those french fries and the additives in that processed luncheon meat had to go somewhere… and now they’re coming back out.

What that looks like– or rather, what that feels like to me– takes on two forms. I’m moody, and I want food.

A third thing that I’m experiencing right now is physical pain. It started in my hips, what I imagine an arthritic experiences. I was able to stretch, drink water, and endure. The usual calf pain and right hamstring also bothered me, but I’m used to that, and me and my homie salonpas took care of it.

But this morning, boy oh boy, did I have some serious lower back pain. I was walking like a senior citizen on a Doan’s commercial; a wide-stance shuffle. I could barely carry my child without wincing, his weight alone was hard to bear.

Lying down made it worse. I finally was able to rest with my feet propped on two pillows and my knees bent so my legs were in a diamond shape. Funky, but it helped.

Since I’ve been lethargic, discombobulated, foggy, and just plain tired, I’ve been napping every day with my son. This in particular is frustrating, because I feel so unproductive! And yet, when I’m awake, I feel like I’m sleepwalking.

Today, my sister asked me to make dinner… which just so happened to be one of my favorite things to eat- kalua pig and cabbage. Here I am, putting the ingredients together, feeling the pain in my lower back, and frankly, feeling pretty crabby about it all.

“Why can’t I eat? This is my process, after all. How bad can cabbage be?”

One hour later, I’m eating a small portion of brown and white rice, about 1/4 of a whole cabbage, and about two tablespoons of imu-roasted pork from Waimanalo.

No, I’m not proud. Yes, I feel a little bit guilty. And I have no idea how that’s going to affect the outcome. I know I’ve lost traction in terms of pounds lost- I weighed in at 199.9!!!

Yet, I had to do it. And my back pain went away, for about two hours!

So, yes, this is definitely a process. And I’m learning a lot. I know my threshold. I know my triggers. And all I can do is try to apply what I know as I go through it. After all, that’s what learning is, right?

QSN: I completed the cleanse for the day- finishing my 4th cleanse drink. I’m sticking to it– one week to go!

Cleanse Day One and Fun in the Sun

Angela C. — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 09:44:01 +0000

Aloha! And a great big good morning to San Francisco, Austin, Washington D.C. and Raleigh!

My first day using the Isagenix Cleanse for Life was bearable. I wasn’t as hungry as I thought I’d be… but boy, do I miss food.

I like eating. I realized today that one of the consistent sources of satisfaction in my life is a good meal. Add good company to that meal, and it’s a great day.

My family and I plan our LIVES around food. Any occasion worth celebrating is an occasion to eat something yummy. When I visit with my friends, chances are, I’m bringing food, or we’re going to eat. That’s just the way it is!

Today, I concentrated on spending time with my son and staying active. We went to the park, I did a brief workout, I gave myself a pedicure-- I tried to stay busy. Ultimately, I succumbed to sweet sleep next to my napping child. But heck, I was tired!

Here’s a quick recap of my day:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Kh9ZJ6OLHo

The song in the background is India.Arie’s “Strength, Courage and Wisdom,” something I hope I’m gaining over these eleven days as I shed some tears… I mean pounds.

When I reviewed the video, I started to feel a bit discouraged. And then I took a closer look at one of my before and after pics:

I can see a difference. And who knows? In 9 days from now, maybe I’ll see an even greater difference. Curiosity alone is enough to keep me motivated.

At the end of the day, I saw coffee brewing, and I had the experience of missing coffee. I can’t say I’ve missed drinking coffee, since I’ve become accustomed to having it whenever I want. I guess it is true- absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Well, tomorrow (Thursday) is my second cleanse day. On Friday, it’s back to meal replacement shakes and one luxurious meal, yahoo! I’ll need it, since I’m hitting the gym again on Friday.

Thanks for joining my journey. Feel free to comment here or on youtube! Mahalo!

Pre-Cleanse Day #2, Kettlebell Workout #1

Angela C. — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 08:08:06 +0000

Hola!

So as you know, I’m completing a 9-day cleanse with the Isagenix program. (No, I’m not a distributor, and I’m not reppin’ the brand. I just want to keep you informed.)

Today is day two of my “pre-cleanse.” Essentially, that means, get ready, here it comes! A pre-cleanse day is a “shake” day. I drink a chocolate meal replacement shake for lunch and dinner. Today, I had grilled ahi and a salad for lunch. I snacked on cashews and sunflower seeds this afternoon, because I wanted something crunchy.

I have given up drinking my iced non-fat 3-shot espresso latte cold turkey. For that, I got a massive, and I do mean, terrible headache. It lasted only an hour, thank goodness, and then I was able to rest.

I’m drinking my last chocolate shake of the evening, but I’m having a hard time finishing it. Frankly, I’ve had a lot of water. I’m full. I’m usually dehydrated– and now– I’m full.

I’d love to hear your tips about how you’ve been successful during a cleanse.

Today, I got back in the gym. I haven’t managed a workout since last Friday. Knowing that I’m pre-cleansing, my trainer gave me a little room today. I started with one-handed thrusters with the 8kg (unlike the usual two-handed), and counted down the ladder from 10 to 5 thrusters on each side.

A “fun” game we played? Let’s swing perfect swings! I completed 20 swings in between my thrusters, but I found that I kept shifting backwards. I do a little hop thing; it seems that I’m allowing my hips to push forward a bit, thereby hyper-extending my back and displacing my weight.

So the game was, “Do perfect swings in one place, or start over again!” Sigh. The first time we played this game, I did a hop back after 13 swings. So, I had to start over again. Let me tell ya– this was the last time I moved out of place!

I was having a hard time controlling my movements; we traced the source to my abs (of all things)! The way that Bill puts it– my abs are not connecting the energy from my lower body into my swings. So, we stopped mid-course to work on abs.

Typically, we don’t do isolated exercises, but today called for it. I started with forearm planks on the rubber ball.

Next we did the “Warrior Goddess” move, which is really a plank and then a turn onto the sides of your feet. Bill asked us to hold it for 5 seconds in each position. I couldn’t do it for more than a few reps.

So, we switched up to very isolated crunches on the ball. We got into a “table” position, lying with our butts and our heads hanging off the ball, and our stomach and thighs flat, like a table. Then, lifting my hips up off the ball, I curl up so that my rib cage area shortens. This isn’t a huge sit up, it’s really a small, but painful, crunch. I could do about 3 of these each time.

We finished our thruster-swing sets, I did a few stretches with the chest expander, and I was pau!

At 10pm tonight, I’m starting to feel a headache coming on. Rather than suffer in silence, I’m going to go ahead and take 2 ibuprofen. It’s allowed. Tomorrow- the cleanse begins!

Thanks for following me! I look forward to hearing from you!